I shouldn’t write about the same old shit that goes on in my head all the time- all the small-minded, petty stuff that I would save for a journal entry. No one wants to hear about that. I do think it is valuable to share my struggles, if there is a solution on the other end, or even if there is a new awareness, if there is a new light in the darkness surrounding them, if there is some shift in how I see it all. If there is not, I don’t see much point. But as Marianne Williamson said, I am not special and what I say is not unique. I don’t have anything new to say under the sun. I simply have my own outpouring from my own heart, I am the universe’s unique expression through me at this moment in this fabric of atoms woven together just so- at 2245 PST on February 12, 2016. As I breathe, as my mind cascades chemicals over the grooves and edges in my brain and it’s accompanying trillions of cells, energy patterns come and go and express themselves. It is a dance that reminds me of the patterns of huge flocks of birds that swim the air together, dynamically and perfectly weaving their patterns and flight in the perfect union, not one bird out of sync. You never see those patterns fall out of the sky, in a mishap of kamikaze flight patterns zooming towards the earth, birds pelting each other and feathers everywhere. Because they are all one unit, together, of one mind, universal life energy flowing through them and with perfect intention, they dance in the sky in a delicate and beautiful dance of movement and grace. When thoughts and emotions are at peace, are still and connected, when my heart and my head are one together, their dance together mimics the birds’ unique display of synchronicity and magic. I let go, and it goes and flows, and I rest. And I float effortlessly on the currents of air that buffer me from the hard ground. When the left brain, the ego, the sinister, or instinctual and primitive survival part of the brain activates, then the jenga tower collapses and falls due to lack of balance. If I rest and let things be, and unfold on their own, and breathe and be present and surrendered, I float in the lazy river of universal love, and surrender to where the current leads.