Third Thing

What is my third thing? The prompt said it was me and my writing and then a third thing. She suggested memories are the third thing. My interpretation is that the third thing is what I write about; and yes, that would be my memories, my past, my addictions, my struggling recovery. I’m out of the mire again. Writing and reading words has always pulled me from a young age. I have a classic regret about my lack of discipline in my life, and I wonder what could have been with my writing if I had continued to write since I learned how. It was in middle school that I discovered I enjoyed it and that words flowed easily onto the page, and that I liked the way I arranged them and others did, too. Before I discovered pot and Robitussin binge-drinking in high school, I really paid attention to my writing instincts and I got recognition from a teacher or two that validated my talent. I kept a journal off and on over the years, but abruptly stopped the journal when I started dating Martin because I didn’t want him to ever find evidence of my inner dialogue, my doubts, and the fact that even after we said we’d be exclusive to each other, that I could not stop seeing two or three guys I had going on the side for a few weeks. This was a mar on our marriage in my mind, until I went off the deep end with Dave. I did have a burst of writing 6 years ago, when I got Old Friend From Far Away and started writing the prompts and reading a stack of memoirs written by women in addiction and recovery. This of course ended and here I am again now, I have been writing about a month. This time I am disciplined and I make sure that I write at least 10 minutes a day. At this point I am not spending a lot of time on my writing, but I am taking care of the quantity. I hope at some point god starts taking care of the quality. I think s/he has a lot of the time but I need to put measured, focus effort into my writing to take it to the next level. I am at the phase of developing habit, voice, discipline, and seeing what comes onto the page.

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